These few visits to the baby swimming pool, often encounter a little boy of more than 3 years old, impressive.
The little boy has a pigtail, very lively and cute. When he sees me talking to Fifi, who is more than a year old, he immediately swims over and circles around Fifi, a typical little chatterbox.
Auntie, my sister is hitting the water, my sister is not well behaved. Auntie, you see I can throw the ball over there. Auntie, I have a Thomas, look, it’s awesome. Auntie, I want to drink water, pour it over there ……
I asked the aunt at the swimming center, “Are this child’s parents very busy and have little time for their children?”
Yes, his parents are in business. Every time she swims, her mother puts him here and asks us to watch on her behalf and buy food for herself.” The aunt was quick to speak.
Perhaps in the eyes of adults, this child is very good. I am a little worried that this child is trying to please adults too much. Because of the strong need for love and security, they want more praise and recognition from adults. I have always had a suspicion that if a child behaves well as a child, it is very likely that the child is suppressing his or her nature, which is not good for the child’s personal growth and development.
On the contrary, I often hear many elementary school teachers say that children who are naughty and mischievous as children grow up to be more successful. These children, they grow freely, did not suppress their own nature, at least in the creativity has not been suppressed!
There was also a little boy of 2.5 years old and his mother, a regular visitor to the pool.
The little boy is not very talkative, black eyes dripping, swimming around in the pool is very active, a look is an active child.
Fifi took a small blue plastic shark in the water, when the boy swam over and took Fifi’s small shark. Fei Fei wanted to grab it back and tried, but found that he could not swim fast enough and the boy swam away early. As I watched, I felt that Fifi was a little frustrated and took a small water bottle to get her attention. She immediately did not care and continued to play happily in the water, calling out to the little girl next to her “sister, sister”. Probably still think that the sister next to her will take care of her, more reliable!
At this point, the little boy’s mother forced the little boy to swim over: “Go, return the little shark to the sister, that is the sister’s, you can not steal the sister’s toys.”
“It’s okay, it’s all kids. It’s okay, you see, the child doesn’t care anymore.” I said in all sincerity.
The real world is full of competition, the child is weak, things are robbed, within the scope of the safety permit, I go to intervene, there is no sense ah. And the child is smart, she quickly found that she can find more reliable partners to play with. This is not a bad thing for the child.
The little boy’s mother apparently thought I was being polite and forced the little boy to return the toy to Fifi.
A little later, I heard the little boy’s mother ask the little boy to repeat the same words to the other child in a much harsher tone than earlier. The little boy looked like he was cowering.
This mother is really not a spoiled mother. But for some reason, I felt a bit that her focus about her child’s education was more like showing herself to be a competent mother than a child!
The child keeps repeating the action of grabbing toys, and behind the behavior probably wants the mom to pay more attention to his unexpressed needs. He wants to appear stronger than the other children, to get mom’s attention, to get more attention, look how good I am! Perhaps this is the child’s rebellion against his mother’s strict discipline. This mother should not have noticed her child’s need for mom’s attention and need for good, obedient, well-mannered children! In fact, I myself often do this kind of thing accidentally. I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately, and I’m more or less aware of it.
I often hear about children in adolescence and how rebellious they are. In fact, where there is oppression, there is rebellion, even if he is a child and does not dare to resist explicitly, he will show it in his own way. Inappropriate strict discipline, so that the child produces guilt, shame, the child’s growth is not very beneficial, its effect is estimated to be comparable to spoiling, are not trust the child’s ability to self-growth!
