My daughter painted her nails with paint. My husband reprimanded my daughter, saying that the most important thing for her now is to study and not to put her mind on dressing up.
I refuted his point.
First of all, love of beauty is a sign of self-confidence and self-love for girls.
Love of beauty and being able to dress up is a plus for girls, no matter when.
Beauty is a sign of self-pleasure and self-confidence for girls.
However, being able to dress up requires training and practice. We can’t deny our children the opportunity to practice before they go out into the world, and then ask them to be confident and know how to dress themselves when they go out into the world.
Secondly, there is no good or bad thing in itself.
Since the beginning of the school year, I have observed that my daughter’s motivation to learn has increased a lot. Every day when she comes home from school, she finishes her homework on her own initiative without being rushed, and does her revision and pre-reading.
I was very happy to see that my daughter gradually found her self-drive to learn. Self-drive is the fundamental motivation for learning.
The ultimate goal of parental control over children’s learning is to stimulate their self-drive.
Third, parents should help their children find the right way to relieve stress.
Although my daughter is able to study on her own, her outdoor activities have decreased.
Learning is a marathon, and long-term academic stress can damage a person’s physical and mental health.
Study pressure is one of the main triggers of emotional problems among adolescents.
Low mood, diminished interest, and lack of energy and stamina are the three core symptoms of depression.
Depression can cause low self-esteem, self-doubt, poor concentration, and memory loss in children. The most serious consequence is suicide, which makes us pay attention to children’s mental health problems.
In the face of these negative emotions, parents should promptly help their children to do emotional guidance, to find the right way to relieve stress.
Weekend excursions with children, soccer, movies, books; let children free to draw, sing or solitary, etc., not only to help children to relieve stress, but also to enhance parent-child relationship.
Painting nails and making handbooks is one of your daughter’s ways to self-regulate and relieve stress. As a parent, you should not hinder your child’s normal path of self-regulation.
Fourth, don’t raise your daughter to be too well behaved.
Some data show that girls who are admonished by their parents to be well behaved, obedient and honest are more likely to run into walls and encounter subtle rules in the workplace everywhere.
In my opinion, the essential reason why a girl is easily duped is that she is not accepted, loved and tolerated by her parents in the family.
Parents create a sense of love deprivation for girls, reducing their sense of self-worth and making them incapable of identifying the love from others.
Just as children who don’t normally have marshmallows to eat can’t pass the marshmallow experiment, delayed gratification just doesn’t work for them as a fallacy.
It seems to me that the saying, “A well-stocked granary knows its manners, a well-fed garment knows its honor and shame,” is equally applicable in parenting.
“You can misbehave, but you can’t learn to be bad.”
I agree. As long as there is no problem with the child’s character, parents should be more tolerant of their children and cultivate their sense of self-worth, rather than being harsh on them in every aspect of life and telling them to be obedient and well-behaved.
A netizen said, “A girl who is constantly suppressed and disciplined to be obedient, knowledgeable and submissive in the family is no different from a fat piece of meat thrown into a wolf pack after she enters society.”
In today’s social and cultural environment, the requirements for girls and boys are double standard. People cultivate the wolf nature of boys on one side and are extremely lenient to boys; on the other side, they cut out the wolf nature of girls and are extremely harsh to girls to make them well-behaved, submissive and obedient.
The essence of the double standard is just to better exploit the value of women.
A well-behaved and obedient girl is afraid of her parents’ authority at home, has a low sense of self-worth and tends to be submissive. In the workplace is also easy to fear the so-called authority, lack of self-protection awareness and ability.
Raising a girl as a well-behaved sheep is like throwing a sheep into a wolf pack in a society where wolf culture is prevalent.
Painting nails or dressing up is a way to please and love oneself. It doesn’t matter if things are good or bad, it’s just that we treat things differently.
We can’t label our children as “bad” just because we think they are “bad”.
I think it is a must for every parent to be more tolerant of their children and to cultivate their self-confidence, self-love, self-esteem, positive and optimistic attitude towards life.
