Children are not confident, do not all blame on the child’s “glass heart”, parents should reflect on it

As we all know, children’s character is mostly influenced by the family environment. Confident and cheerful children tend to grow up in a family full of love and encouragement, and parents’ words and deeds have a great influence on children.

I believe that all parents want their children to be confident and excellent, can become the most prominent one in the crowd. But confidence is not innate, acquired education and the influence of the environment, are the most important factors to develop confidence, need people to create conditions.

Therefore, if your child is not confident, don’t blame it all on the “glass heart” of the child. Parents should also reflect on whether the environment they provide for their child is qualified, and whether their own behavior and positive attitude towards life can greatly affect the child’s personality.

Learning to encourage children is the most important beginning to cultivate self-confidence, the support and encouragement of parents is the most indispensable power on the road of children’s growth, used to be recognized children, in the face of anything will be full of bold and confident, because parents will always be their strong backing.

The success of Edison, a famous scientist, is inseparable from the good atmosphere of his family and his mother’s education.

When Edison was a child, he was not an ordinary clever boy. He would always put forward some baffling questions that made the teachers speechless. The teachers would not answer him.

However, when Edison’s mother found out what had happened, she did not beg the school to take her son. Instead, she decided to take him home and teach him herself. When Edison asked why he wanted to go home, his mother kept encouraging him, telling him that he was smart, telling him that school could not teach him, so she taught him herself, and asked him to work hard to prove to the school that he was not bad.

Inspired, Edison was full of hope for the future. Under the guidance of his mother, he continued to study hard and eventually lived up to his mother’s expectations and became a great scientist and inventor. After the success of Edison, special thanks to his mother at that time of encouragement and after the teaching, thank mother has never given up on him.

It turns out that parental encouragement and support is really important for children. Just like Edison’s mother, because she always believed that her child could succeed, always accompanied and encouraged the child to move forward to the future, always encouraged and supported Edison’s ideas and actions, and finally in return for Edison’s success.

However, nowadays, most parents are unable to bring positive attitudes to their children, or even will only undermine their children’s hard-built confidence, bring negative energy home to their children, and reduce their children to nothing. There is no encouragement and support, and the whole family is full of gloom and depression.

With such parents, living in such an environment, how can the child be confident? It was almost a joke. If children need to learn to grow up, then becoming a parent also need to learn? Everyone is facing the upgrade of identity for the first time, since there is something wrong, it is necessary to timely recognize and correct. Parents should stop doing the following, and change your attitude towards things and people.

1. Don’t be stingy with your child’s recognition and praise

Many parents may feel happy when their children come back with high grades to sign, but most of them feel that their children’s good grades are taken for granted, after all, they have spent so much money to help their children into good schools, tutoring classes and so on, so they will not be too satisfied, let alone show joy.

At this time, the child was waiting for his parents’ recognition and praise, but what he received was an understatement: “Next time, take more tests, not the first place.”

See parents face no imagined pride and satisfaction, the child’s heart instantly cold, can only take the paper back to the room “continue to work hard”. But the kids still don’t know why they got good grades and the parents are not happy, don’t know whether they are really not good enough, or even bad.

Perhaps the parents will not care, the children originally because of good grades to build up a little confidence, such as their words poured out. Sometimes parents destroy their children’s confidence by being stingy with recognition and praise. So when a child gets a good grade and goes home to “show off”, what parents have to do is to follow the child’s heart to praise and recognize the child’s ability, so that they will also take this encouragement to continue to work hard, can do better next time.

2. Stop blaming your child for everything

In children’s eyes, home is a haven, family is the most trustworthy people. However, when the child is wronged and comes home to talk to the family, the parents will only “turn away from the child”. Instead of standing on the side of the child to comfort the child, the parents will blame all the mistakes on the child.

Do not know this idea of parents, is to have what kind of state of mind to raise children, their children themselves are the most understand, why in what do not ask clearly, blindly criticize the child, let the child more grievance uncomfortable, see the child crying have to admit that you are happy?

Do the parents have any idea what it must have been like?

He ran home to his parents because there was no one outside to listen to his explanation, no one to speak for him. But when he heard that his parents also think that he is wrong, his heart instantly did not know, even if the fault in others, he can only hold back not to back the pot.

Over time, the child will slowly put the heart of the heart, the family is no longer trusted people. He will only suppress himself, gradually lose confidence, and even think that everything is wrong is his, constantly others to accommodate others to belittle himself, become self-abased and timid.

Is this what parents want?

3. Don’t make it a habit to taunt children

It is all too common for children to turn to their parents for moral support when they are in trouble, only to be met with unrestrained ridicule or even denial of their children’s abilities.

One of my friends grew up in the constant ridicule of parents, she itself is not a clever child, but the parents are very good face, let her learn this learn that, wish to let her all kinds of talent mastery of everything.

However, whenever she encountered something she didn’t like to learn, her parents would only laugh at her and tell her that they were disappointed in her, “You can’t learn such a simple thing. Others can learn it but you can’t. Please give up.

Now my friend doesn’t have much success in her career because she lacks confidence and is afraid to express herself because she doesn’t think she can do anything well. I know that this is because of her parents’ constant oppression and negation of her when she was a child, so that she unconsciously lost the ability of self-affirmation.

In a word, parents do not want their children to be confident and excellent on the one hand, on the other hand can not do the correct education of children, children can not leave the family overnight to grow up, if the parents can not understand these principles first.