The child’s character development, from giving space to start, do not use strong means

In recent years, the country attaches more importance to education, which directly leads to parents’ education of children is more and more strict, among which the methods of education are various. So, which method should we adopt for children’s education? To each his own.

Some parents said: to the children to eat good wear good newspaper all kinds of cram school, all for the children’s future, the children not only can not understand the parents of good intentions, instead of all kinds of unreasonable, even the parents more let what the child is more against!

Why does this happen?

Educational research shows that there are three stages of rebellion in the growing process of children, which are 2-3 years old, 6-8 years old and 12-18 years old.

2-3 years old: the child’s language system development has not been perfected, unable to correctly express their likes, dislikes and ideas, can only be expressed through simple body language, often incomprehensible, therefore, the child will be easy to be impatient, lose temper. And at this stage, the children have a very strong sense of sovereignty, such as: their mother can not hold other children and so on, sometimes there will be hand-beating, kicking behavior…… This is the first rebellious phase of a child.

6-8 years old: children can simply express their own heart, but because children in this period have not been exposed to systematic education, the cognition of the world, interpersonal relationship is insufficient, or the cognition is not accurate enough, often show more self-expression, do not take care of others’ thoughts and feelings, which seems a little selfish. But in fact, this is a child to form a process of external cognition, need to be guided. This is the second rebellious phase of the child.

12-18 years old: Children have a preliminary cognitive system, can express themselves in a variety of languages, personality development is basically formed, but because of inexperienced, naive thinking. In addition, children in this period yearn for recognition, respect and equality. They no longer want to be treated as children, passively disciplined, but expect to be treated as equals. To this end, they will behave differently in terms of words and actions in order to catch their parents’ eyes, attract attention, and even express their inner discontent. This is the child’s third rebellious stage.

In fact, children’s rebellion is not only the existence of these three stages, but throughout the whole growth process. The above three rebellious periods are only the more prominent and concentrated period of children’s rebellious performance. Therefore, parents’ education should be better as early as possible, rather than only in the three rebellious periods of education, interference, it will cause more children’s rebound psychology, especially can not use a strong attitude and means to check and balance.

Parents should give their children personal space, so that they can grow up freely in a certain space and time. Like flowers and trees, in the vast world can grow stronger, grow seedlings in the greenhouse, once moved out of the greenhouse, it can not withstand the wind and rain. Children should not be allowed to be “transparent”. With space, children will not feel oppressed by discipline, but rather enjoy the opportunity.

How to give children more personal space?

First, give children the opportunity to choose.

When there is a need to choose, parents should not ignore the child’s wishes, directly according to their own ideas for the child to make the choice. After a child has been chosen and assigned countless times, the rift between him and his parents only deepens until it becomes irreconcilable. Therefore, we should give children more opportunities to choose, so that children can choose according to their own preferences, which is also in the cultivation of children’s independent opinions and views on things.

Two, give children respect.

Many parents mistakenly believe that their children have no sense of dignity, that they do not understand priorities or whether an object is necessary. This kind of parents do things, do not worry about the child’s emotions, beautiful name, “such a small child, he does not understand.”

Even if the child expresses his will, the parents will not pay attention to it, even think that the child is unreasonable! Gradually, the child thinks he does not get due respect, and there is a communication barrier between parents, the longer the time, the deeper the contradiction between each other. Therefore, we must give children proper respect, which is also a very important prerequisite for the establishment of children’s self-confidence.

Three, give children the space to vent emotions.

Everyone will have small emotions, children will also have, we can’t deprive children of this sense of space, otherwise the child will feel that they have no privacy, over time, the child will become more and more sensitive. For some parents unspeakable desire to control, please control yourself, give children a small world to vent emotions, this is also a way for children to learn self-control emotions. If you want to let children become the master of emotions, rather than the slave of emotions, it is necessary to give children enough space to grow, experience, vent.

Everyone is an independent individual. As parents, we should not only reasonably discipline our children, but also give them space to grow up. Especially, we should not use coercive means to restrain children when they are rebellious. Children’s character development, depends on how parents are effective discipline, let us start with children, from friends!